Radio Nowhere

He introduced 'LA Woman' as a song about Los Angeles and she transferred the credits of  'Hey Jude' to maybe- The Rolling Stones. Yes, I am talking of the humanoids that are designated Radio Jockeys for 102.fix FM. Disaster Andrews is one who can give priest-like sermons and bore us like no other. A 'country songs hour' is anchored by him and God save you if you request for something country-offish. 'Not done my child, not done. You shall pay for this sin.' You shall have to listen to a preacher on air and then be left without the song you requested for. It is against the rules, didn't you know ?! Aah! Putting off people- not being able to break the ice or crack a joke- consistent preaching- sermonizing on air- these are talents, which aren't worth honing or showcasing.

My limited knowledge or current awareness of 102.nix FM is through the times when I have mistakenly pressed the forward button on my car stereo console. Even this mistake has taught me that music can't JUST be learnt. There is something about it that is inbuilt, that comes to you, grows on you and takes you along. There are some songs that one has grown up with, and no amount of information about those songs can overshadow the way you would talk about them through your own experience. I can see it RJ. I can hear you. The worst thing in life is to be a 'wannabe', and a wannabe music aficionado for sure is a complete no-no I say.  Am not saying I haven't enjoyed listening. Yes, I have toppled off my chair, when you took the credit for Tom Petty's rendition- 'Learning to Fly', saying ' Now Tom Petty and I make you air-borne'. Believe you me, Bob Dylan is not a sardar from the Tillawn clan (if there is one, and here the 'n' is silent) neither is Enrique Iglesias a rock singer. That made me roll on the floor too. There are times when you may not remember the year in which a song was composed| sung| and hit the high charts of Billboard Top 100. There are things you may not know about the songs you play. It's okay! Take a deep breath, don't make incoherent noises and begin sentences you can't complete. 'I am going to play you a song by ....ummm .......ee oo aa ..........whoever ....sung in the nineteen.........errrrr ......whenever.' Whoa! That's some insight dude! The truth is, no one really wants much information. They want to live through experience. There are two kinds of people who listen to music, ones who know it and ones who don't. And both the categories of listeners would rather enjoy the songs you play and live that experience, than be burdened with facts they know better, or don't need to know.

Rock legends may have got their music right ....but why has their bequeathed property landed in the hands of lemurs posing to be RJs? This is dangerous ...to 'ears' and to 'world peace'. Jimi Hendrix may have taken a 180 degree turn in his resting place on hearing that 'Foxy Lady' is  being introduced as a song dedicated to the Animal Kingdom. Golden years of sweat and toil, unbridled talent, being washed away by a careless concoction of mindless RJ-ing. You know Pearl Jam neither sings about precious stones nor jellies. Tracy Chapman is a woman, Moby is not a cartoon character and if you don't know the full form of CCR, no worries, just don't try. It is humor that listeners long for in between songs. Music related information is 'by the way'. It can add a charm to a music show, if meted out in concise and correct proportions. Humor too can't be learnt-  it is inborn, it is a state of mind, a way of being. If both music and humor are not your cup of tea then save that attempt. Moreover, both are endless and no one can master either completely.  Not sure if you should claim to. Shobha nahi deta :-P Articulation issues and social awkwardness make matters worse anyway.

Basically, Sarthak on 95 FM contrasts you folks in a manner that's unbeatable and this gives a solid context to this blog post. I only intend to make fun of what I truly, honestly, sincerely, found funny on that frequency (the 102 one) which no longer matches mine. The days of Shamsher are over. The accented days are here. I can put a face to your voice and I know you would be the guy wearing a tight tee or a tight tucked-in full sleeves shirt on a tighter pair of pants and pointed light brown shoes to boot. I know you would flaunt a cigarette to act cool or talk in a self-invented accent, something in between an American and Australian one.  Don't know any of the 102.kicks RJs personally anyway. With all due respect, I think you all must have a chat with Sarthak and learn a trick or two from him. You'll know why he rocks on air.

The Mantra is- Be your self, keep it simple, have no airs, know your stuff, deliver the intended result, exude a positive vibe and bring a smile to our faces and that is it. :-) Quoting from 95 FM, 'Bhagwaan ka diya hua sab hai humaare paas, bas ghamand nahi hai '...:-P

So 102.mix, please pardon the satire and exaggeration- it has come out of forgotten love for the channel that I used to sing out loud with, the jingles included . The music isn't bad, esp. on the Hindi shows, but the RJs....umm....eeerrr.....are hard to listen to and so, the current form of the frequency is quite .....ee oo aa .......I don't know what to say.